Stravros Café

Apologies to Suzanne Vega, but I am afraid that this is to the tune of 'Tom's Diner'.



When you wake up
in a doorway
and your clothes all smell of wee wee
and you notice
that beside you
is a little pool of vomit.
And your head is really hurting
and you badly need the toilet
especially as you notice
that you smell a bit like pooh.

You remember
that last evening
you went out for just a quick one
with the people
from the office
'cause you'd had a really bad day.
And you all went to a wine bar
where they serve a cheeky Merlot,
but it took a while to notice
no one else was drinking red.

And by the time
you clocked on
you were outside you first bottle
and another
bottle turned up
and it seemed rude not to drink some.
You were getting kind of slurry
and a little bit agressive,
which was probably a bad time
for your boss to come along.

But you went
across to join him
'cause you thought it was a good time
to start up
a conversation
about some of his shortcomings.
But he didn't want to listen,
which was typical of his type,
so you trapped him in a corner
and you told it to him straight.

He was quite
surprised to hear that
he was such a total arsehole
and unreasonably
suggested
you discuss it in the morning.
You remember, at that moment
someone came round with Sambuca
and you necked at least two shots down
just before you punched the boss.

You could see
his nose was bleeding
and you thought it might be broken
so you went to
try and help him
but he only kept on screaming.
Then the bouncers came and grabbed you,
you were chucked out of the winebar,
and you said you'd take them all on,
but they didnt want to fight.

It was there
outside the wine bar
that you realised you were starving
so you thought
the best idea
would be to visit Stavros' café.
Because when you have a skinful
there is nothing that tastes better
than a great big pile of Donner
and a load of chili sauce.

You are too pissed
to eat in here
said the man who runs the café.
So you gave him
the two fingers
and you staggered up the High street,
and you saw a nice shop doorway
where you sat and ate your Donner
but it made you want to throw up,
after which you fell asleep.

Then you wake up
in a doorway
and your clothes all smelt of wee wee
and you noticed
that beside you
was a little pool of vomit.
And your head was really hurting
and you badly need the toilet
especially as you noticed
that you smelt a bit like pooh.

Da da dah da
da da dah da
........................................